I hate flying.

I have to get on a plane in approximately 70 hours. You can ask all those who have flown with me how fun I am on an airplane and during the 3 to 5 hours prior to the flight. I was completely fine with flying prior to 9/11. My family and I flew a few months after the terrorist attack to Seattle and I'm not even exaggerating when I say I was s-o-b-b-i-n-g the entire first hour. My dad was frustrated with me for "making a scene," but I was not in the mood to die that day. I've flown a couple more times since then.

My ex, Trevor and I flew to Maui. The flight there wasn't too bad (I closed my eyes and prayed while we took off), but the flight home was terrifying (for me) when we were about to land in SF. Someone thought it would be a brilliant idea to make the discussions between the pilots and the controllers on the ground available on one of the radio stations. I tuned in for the entire hour of landing...yes an hour. "I can't see the runway, it's too foggy." I died inside. Then I managed to kill Trevor, and all the other passengers who could hear me repeating the bad news I overheard on the radio. Turns out, it's SF, so the pilots were used to not being able to see the runway. The landing was pretty amazing. Trevor informed me that he would never fly with me again because I almost made him throw up.

I'm nervous about flying this time, but I think the excitement of seeing my family and friends is making it not TOO bad. However, this will be the first time flying with Pieter as a mobile being. Flying to Seattle when he was 3 months wasn't bad (thanks Nichole for helping me) because all I had to worry about was crying or changing a diaper. The flight on Thursday will be 3 times as long and my child isn't the greatest at sitting down for more than 30mins at a time. I think I'm more nervous about how he's going to be then the flight itself.

Nick informed me that JetBlue has tv's on the back of all the seats, so I decided to go with them. Hopefully tv, movies on Nick's laptop, and yummy snacks will keep my child occupied. Otherwise I'm going to be a mess. The flight home is and overnighter in hopes he'll just sleep the entire time.

Xanax anyone? For me, not my child...please pray for a safe flight!